he he hE

Sardarji Kidnapping a Child

A Sardar Ji was Living hand to Mouth.
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.
Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."
Signed: Another Sardarji.

IT Roles in Heaven : *Brahma* Systems Installation *Vishnu * Systems Administration & Support *Lakshmi * Finance and Accounts consultant *Saraswati* &nb sp; Training and Knowledge Management *Shiva* DBA (Crash Specialist) *Ganesh * Quality Assuarance & Documentation *Narada* Data transfer *Yama* Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant *Chitragupta* IDP & Personal Records *Apsaras* Downloadable Viruses *Devas* Mainframe Programmers *Surya* Solaris Administrator *Rakshasas * In house Hackers *Ravan * Internet Explorer WWWF *Kumbhakarnan* Zombie Process * Lakshman* Support Software and Backup *Hanuman * Linux/s390 * Vaali* MS Windows *Sugreeva* DOS *Jatayu* Firewall *Dronacharya* System Programmer *Vishwamitra * Sr. Manager Projects *Shakuni* Annual appraisal & Promotion *Valmiki * Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document) *Dharmaraj Yudhishthira* ISO Consultant (CMM level 5) *Arjun * Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him) *Abhimanyu* Trainee Programmer *Draupadi * Motivation & Team building * Bhima* MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM *Duryodhana * Microsoft product Written in VB *Karna* Contract programmer *Dhrutarashtra* Visual C++ *Gandhari* Dreamweaver *100 Kaur avas * Microsoft Service Packs and patches

What is confidence ????A hypothetical situation where 20 executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed. Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."That is called Confidence!!!

State...Must Read Laws... Newton Forgot to State... LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will! LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last. LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


SANTAFour guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT university and SANTA SINGH fromPunjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One commonquestion was asked to all 4 of them. INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD? YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantlyin your mind. MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"? SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got theworst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THELIGHTS, it was over!!!! bolo tarara.....